Reflecting on Life as a Gifted, Highly Sensitive Individual: Career in Hospitality, Sales, and Teaching

At 63, I reflect on my life with six mothers—my real mother and five sisters. Growing up as the youngest, I often felt isolated, unaware that I was gifted and highly sensitive. My school days weren’t fulfilling, but I found comfort in music and later pursued a career in hospitality, sales, and operational management, ultimately achieving "Teacher of the Year."

Picture: My brother and Sisters wen they were young

Now my age is sixty-two years, so I can look back on a long period of life, a life that I had to share with "six" mothers until almost now. By this I mean a mother and five sisters. So, I grew up with five sisters and two brothers. Of this large number of children, I was the youngest, the Benjamin.

How did I look at the rest of the family in my younger years?

As a child or toddler, I honestly didn't have much on me for the rest of our family. I was a descendant, my youngest sister, the second oldest in our family was already seven years older, so she started primary school, when I was still pooping in diapers. The rest were already at marriageable age or at least were already dating. One of my brothers had a mental disability, he understood an eight-year-old child. I was often alone at home playing in the garden, I didn't have any friends.

Why didn't I have any friends as a child?

I write above that I didn't have any boyfriends at the time, I thought I knew why, but three years ago that turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. As a child I didn't know that I was gifted and highly sensitive, I only found out when I was sixty. In my childhood I thought it was because I wore glasses with thick lenses, and had urinary problems, because for that I was called cross-eyed and smelly. That I was different in other respects was not understood by anyone in the sixties of the last century. My older brothers and sisters were in a different phase of life than me, for them I had to appear more serious and older to connect, according to the teachers at my school I was too serious and mature for my age?

Was school educational for me?

If I was very honest, my school days have brought me relatively "little", except maybe reading and writing. I was often introverted, and had no connection anywhere, so I read myself, according to others too difficult books, and watched the 5 news with my father in the evening, and the current affairs programs on television. I didn't feel lonely in my own opinion, but more on my own. I liked to listen to music of all kinds and got my truths from it. First, kinds of genres, but later mainly the Dire Straits, and the gospel music of Elvis Presley. When one of my sisters died at the age of thirty-five, I was nineteen, at the same time my mother died, she was sixty-four. I could remember both those ages for a long time. Thirty-five, sixty-four and forty-two were ages for me that I used to think I would never reach like that!

What age do you think you will ever reach, or never think about this?

You wonder why I also mention the age of forty-two? Some people probably know that Elvis Presley died at this age. It may sound very depressing to you, but that was my "normal" thoughts. My parents were from 1916 and 1917, years from the First World War. You will probably understand that they were not highly educated, but in my opinion they worked hard. We all got a "pre-war" good upbringing at home, hard work, and not too much whining. Parents had to ensure that their future was secured. My brothers and sisters lived in their own reality, the eldest were also taken out of school early to help in the household. 

Would you also flee from such a reality?

My older brothers and sisters sought their own way in my early childhood, in my eyes they chose a partner, from whom they expect a certain security in the rest of life, they knew a lot, but they thought so at the time. No one knew at the time that I was "different." I chose my own path, not the easiest, but I took the opportunities that I thought life gave me. Sometimes I found the right people around me, not that they understood me, but they helped me further in my search for life. Via the hospitality industry, I rolled into sales, and further into operational management. Not that I understood all those things, but I probably found my way because of the giftedness. I even became "teacher of the year" in adult education, little did I know? My parents, brothers and sisters, are now all but one of them deceased, I am happy with my wife Monique, our Labrador Pip, and our two cats Ross & Joey, and we hopefully live happily ever after!

How Einstein, Jung, Freud, and Hawking Shape Our Reality

Explore how Einstein, Jung, and Freud shaped history, and how evolving theories and overlooked figures challenge our understanding of science and reality.

Have you ever woken up with the feeling that things in the world could have turned out differently?

That unsettling sense of missing or having missed something? Perhaps the feeling that something is not quite right somewhere, or that it may have been wrongly documented by those who recorded it? Over time, more details about our shared past continue to emerge. Consider the stories discussed by Yuval Noah Harari in Sapiens, Peter Ackroyd in Reizen door de tijd, or Thomas Hertog, a former student of Stephen Hawking, who is one of the most revered scientists of our era.

Is their version of reality also our reality?

Picture: Steven Hawkins (The Gardian)

You might have read these books as well. It seems increasingly apparent that much has been rewritten in various fields, especially since the year 2000. Think about Albert Einstein, Carl Gustav Jung, and Sigmund Freud. These individuals, I suspect, documented their stories and discoveries as accurately as possible in their time. Yet, even today, they have many followers who might believe that what is written in history books must be the truth simply because it was recorded. It's understandable that early writers might have presented their findings with the best intentions, given the limitations of their research capabilities at the time. For instance, Einstein had a longstanding disagreement with Niels Bohr about the Big Bang and the subsequent development of the universe.

Are there still assumptions in our history?

This question is challenging to answer because who truly has a monopoly on wisdom? Who elaborated on the theories of previous scientists? Were there sufficient truth checks on the ideas adopted from predecessors throughout history? Were these truth checks even feasible in their time? Even someone as prominent as Stephen Hawking had to revise his views after publishing A Brief History of Time, where he initially argued that the universe and life emerged from the Big Bang, suggesting nothing existed before it. Hawking was known for starting from his own intuition, which he sometimes accepted as truth to further develop his theories.

Was the Big Bang truly the beginning of time?

Often, scientists suggest that human complexity implies a creation by a larger being. The name of this being may be secondary to many, but the idea is that the intricate adaptations observed in human development could not have occurred by mere chance or human influence. Applying this notion to the development of Earth, it seems there are still unrecognized coincidences that we, and these scientists, continue to grapple with, adjusting theories to fit these occurrences.

Picture: Carl Gustav Jung & Sigmund Freud (Owlcation)

Are our theories about reality accurate?

Theories often evolve under pressure, which has worked well in the past because much of humanity could not fully grasp them. History books, too, have been influenced by victors and often reflect a biased perspective. Many of these victors were likely guided by more intelligent women of their time whose contributions are less documented. Today, these narratives appear overly favorable and are tailored to fit the victors' perspectives.

Will women emerge as the true victors in our history?

After studying numerous history books, I believe that the history of our planet must have been different from what we currently understand. Consider the impact of all the undocumented women who must have influenced the development of humanity and Earth. Think about the theories modified by scientists to enhance their own stories and how the general public has largely accepted these narratives. Remember that while the world may have been shaped by chance, science is not based on chance but on what is known and understood.