In today’s hectic lifestyle and schedule, we are so busy and occupied that we hardly have time to do various household activities, be it a working woman or a stay-at-home mum. Towards the end of the day, we are exhausted; we are just not able to perform some of the tasks at home on our own because all the energy has been utilised in the office or in tackling family/kids and their lives. 

It is said behind every successful man, there is a good woman, and that’s often the case. But have you ever considered that behind almost every successful woman, there is another woman? Yes, it’s the “KAAMWALI BAI" – the spine of almost every Indian household. 

I am sure we women are capable of doing any amount of labour loaded on us, be it office work or housework. Even if, in a day, there is no show by the Bai, we will still be able to manage the house. But I am talking about those 365 days! Life does not stop without them, but it isn’t easy as well. There is very little that one can do if the Bai does not turn up for work – your world turns upside down. Taking a day off from work for such a simple reason is too trivial an excuse. Well, with that said and done, in short, every Bai is a HERO. With them standing by us, life becomes easier for us. When someone else takes care of our tasks like sweeping, mopping, scrubbing floors, doing dishes, cooking or doing laundry, you don’t have to constantly worry about an endless to-do list. This gives you mental peace and allows you to focus on more meaningful activities, thus strengthening family bonds and reducing feelings of burnout.

The most important mantra is to treat them humanely. They are human beings too, which many employers tend to forget. We need them just as much as they need us. Bullying her isn’t going to leave you with anything but a “Jhaadu” and “Mop” in your hands.

They must be given a salary sufficient to meet their daily needs. If the pay is insufficient, extreme poverty could even force some Bais to commit thefts.

Kids are the weakest point of most Bais as they basically slog day and night for a bright future for their kids. So if possible, share whatever you can with their kids, maybe school books, paying school fees, giving old clothes, etc.

You can also suggest some investment plans for your Bai. Most of the Bais are illiterate. You can help her start a policy that is feasible for her to sustain that can be deducted from her own salary. She will be happy for the fact that you have shown her the way for a brighter future. Help them be aware of medical schemes and family planning.

Though, we simply cannot imagine surviving without her services:

There are some who may steal every single penny lying around at the blink of your eye; the next one will do an elaborate cleavage show for the male population at home; the next one will ask for a raise every third month because “Mehengai badh gahi hai memsaab"; the next one will be clumsy and break half your crockery and so on…….

Even if you call her at 11 am and if the Bai says she wants to come at 2 pm, SHE WILL COME AT 2 PM. It does not matter what time you have pre-decided while “interviewing” her; BAI DOES AS BAI PLEASES. ITNA PAISA ME ITNA-ICH MILENGA!  

Sometimes, having a Bai at home is a loss of privacy. She is actually the broadcast & communication minister. She is the bachelor’s burden, as the ones living as PGs or alone have to really stay alert because one mistake and the Bai becomes BBC. Her ability to spread the news of “Woh Flat 315 wala baba/baby shaam ko ladka/ladki ghar me leke aaya” can be really hazardous to your image, even if all you wanted was to hang out with your friend. It is an art how they snoop on others' activities and draw their own conclusion. A daily visitor who goes into every nook and corner of the house, she gathers information that nobody else beyond the occupants of the house may have. For instance, she knows which beds were slept in, who slept on the bed and with whom, whether someone had a midnight treat and tucked away the wrapper in a corner, whether or not you eat organic or vegetarian or non-vegetarian food, your favourite brand of lingerie and so on. Not that she intends to, it is just an occupational hazard. 

In many Mumbai households, if the Bai announces “Aaj main chhutti pe hoon” (I'm on leave today), the family falls into instant shock. The absence of a Bai immediately turns a relaxed day into a stressful nightmare of sweeping, mopping and doing dishes.

You have got to learn to manage finances from your Bai. She will kill half her clan every two months to go to her Gaav [village] and pop a couple of more relatives only to kill them again. She will ask for 'baksheesh' on every other occasion that happens in your family (and surely they got to know of it by eavesdropping). Come what may, she really knows how to run her house AND STILL BUY the latest Samsung phone.

If you are nice to your Bai, you have found yourself a friend for life. Be mean to them, and no one will set foot inside your house ever. Their word-of-mouth publicity about your character, family history, background, eating habits, kids, and husband’s behaviour spreads so fast that she will put all the best TV channels and journalists to shame.

Having a Bai is more than a matter of convenience. It’s an investment in your emotional well-being. A clean home doesn’t just look good; it feels good, too. Yes, sometimes she can be unreasonable – but she is human, after all. But the way she works every day to keep our houses clean truly makes her a superhuman. 

Appreciate her because:-

• She comes and cleans your house every day. If it weren’t for her, between our laziness and hectic work schedule, we would probably clean the house just once a week.
• She has to clean all the dirty vessels every day and sometimes dirty clothes too. Would you like to wash others’ dirty underwear or clean plates that still has food stuck to it?
• We can take a holiday from our work place pretty easily, but if she does not come for a few days, everybody gets mad at her. We never ask her how she works so much every day nor does she get a holiday until she asks for it.
• She is leaving her house to clean ours, to cook for us and our kids first, just to provide a living for her own family.
• She has no pension or job security. Still, she works hard every day to make ends meet. We realize her importance on the day she cannot come- when all the dirty dishes pile up and the floor needs to be mopped.
• It takes a lot of physical effort and labour to wash and clean at so many houses every day. Summer, Heavy Rains, winter - No matter what, she is there.
• She works without complaining even on Sundays. We call it “working overtime”. If we have to work on a Sunday, we would have immediately asked for a raise or extra pay.
• She balances her family AND helps you have an easier life… and yet you will never know even if she is having a tough day.
• Most of the time she is running from one house to next as she wants to earn maximum in 24 hours. Then if you ask her to do something extra for which she has to put extra time she expects to be paid as the next house will be strict on time. Why is that unreasonable? Don’t you too get paid overtime?
• Many working people are taking loans from the company they are working for. Well, she is working for you. So who else will she go to?
• You would get tired after doing your housework, which is just one house. Imagine they do the same work in so many houses. They rush back to their own houses to do the same chores all over again.
• You have a choice to order food from outside if you don’t feel like cooking. They don’t have an option and outside food is a luxury which they may not be able to afford.

So do remember to thank her when you see her tomorrow morning at your doorstep for making a difference to your lives and being there for you.

Let’s respect them, as Moms can live without us, but they can't bear a day without their Bais!

But unfortunately, not in my case. My Amma is an exception. Till this day, we have no “Bai” in our house. My Amma has a specific way she wants chores done—such as a particular order for mopping or sweeping or how utensils are scrubbed. When the Bai uses her own routine, it will surely lead to miscommunication and dissatisfaction. Also, Bais who may work across multiple houses often prioritise speed over this precision. Amma feels Bais will never follow her instructions, thus leading to frustration and the need to redo tasks. Somehow, my Amma doesn’t like the work done by Bais. She has this obsession with getting things done the way she wants in her house, as it is her sole territory.

My Amma feels the only "bai" who can enter her space is her "home-bai". Her “Home-Bai” can do every household task better or more thoroughly than any other “Bai”. She is trustworthy, hard-working, loving, not no kit-kit, not Kaamchori, not a Chori, not a Chutti, on duty 24 x 7 {365 days}, no back-answering, no time-pass, no chit-chats, honest, obedient, silent, always mute as a cow, and most importantly, no salary. 

My Amma’s “Home-Bai” – her own daughter – means "ki", "me", "myself". 😊